Monday, March 5, 2012

Feng shui and secrets.

It's been almost four years since I graduated high school. There were like 45 people in my class and, with the exception of three extremely heinous girls, I'd say I was friends with all of them. However, there are only a few of those 2008-ers that I still talk to. Christina, Max, and Aaron are good for discussing music and subversive social opinions (both of which we all have in common); Brycen is one of the most darling people I've ever met; Becca is my only female soul-mate.

And then there's Jaden.

I don't think I've ever met a more honest, open-minded, and excitable person in my whole life. I love him because he is himself, and he doesn't make any excuses or apologize. One of my favorite memories from high school is the two of us driving to seminary in his Scion, listening to "My Heart Will Go On" at full volume... and then ditching out early to get coffee at the only gas station in Ivins.

He's one of my best friends. I know I can tell him anything and he won't judge me, preach to me, or tell me I should feel differently. He just blinks, and then says something like "Well, shit, Hannah. That's rough." Which is usually exactly what I need to hear.

Tonight he and I went on a little drive and told each other some secrets, which was so therapeutic. (We know each other's friends enough to be interested in the details of whatever drama is going on, but not well enough to be involved in it.) After I'd filled him in on the ridiculousness that is my social life, I told him something I haven't really openly admitted to anyone: I'm unhappy. Everything's ending -- Fiddler is my last show at Dixie, and it closes on Saturday; I'm graduating from a program that I've been a part of for over ten years; people I've spent the last several months getting close to are drifting further and further away from me. I don't feel as though I have any sense of purpose.

True to form, he replied enthusiastically: "Well, what do you need in order to become happy? What can we do for Hannah today?"

Of course, I have no freaking idea what to do. Fortunately, he had a flash of inspiration.

It turns out that his answer was feng shui. One of my favorite things about Jaden is the fact that he is far from a trend-following neo-yuppie -- at that very moment he was able to explain to me the entire philosophy behind the practice of feng shui, as well as the layout of the bagua, and had examples of how switching up the energy in his apartment had made a difference in his life. He also told me that I should make a dream board ("It's like the Secret, only real!")

I just made a map of my room, diagramming where all my furniture will go based on the bagua. I'm already feeling so much more positive and inspired. That's one of the best things about close friends, I think. They usually know what you should do long before you do.

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