It's been an interesting couple of days. Mostly I am making friendship bracelets like crazy. Last night I learned how to tie the alphabet, so I've been making astrology bracelets. I did Zoe's very first (she wanted purple and gray), so it'll be a little "Welcome Home!" present for when she gets back from Wisconsin.
Other than fanatical knot tying, I've been thinking about love. Particularly, boys. Particularly, one boy (whose name does not start with S, for your information, which I think means I am making progress). I like This Boy really a lot. But because everyone I am interested in turns out to be gay or emotionally unavailable or completely nuts, I am hesitant to say anything. Also, I'm not exactly looking for a legitimate relationship at this time. I would be totally happy with someone to kiss and take naps with. No more, no less.
(Did you guys ever watch Oswald? "No more, no less!")
Anyway. I guess the Big Problem for This Week is just this weird ambiguous crush friendship situation. I have no idea what to do about it. I'm awful at flirting, and I wouldn't even know what to say or do about anything, and also if I totally messed it up and was terrible I would probably never be able to recover.
The only person I've ever legitimately dated was Robert, and we had just been friends. And then one day he randomly called me and said, "Do you want to go see Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat tonight? Also, I was thinking you should be my girlfriend." And that was it. There really wasn't a dating period or a discussion or a set of expectations. It just happened.
And then it unhappened, and it was the pits, and then I had a crush on a series of boys who later came out of the closet, and then I had those weird issues with Spencer, and now there's this.
And I'm hopeful, but I don't want to be stupid. Because I know I've got a good personality and I'm very smart and sometimes pretty funny, but I also know that I'm not a supermodel and some boys prefer that, and if that is the case then what am I supposed to do? I can't just be all Down With Love, I can't be like, "Oh, hey, I dropped 80 pounds. Will you please love me now?"
Because that would be really sad.
But anyway, if anyone out there has "oh, by the way, I think you're darling," advice, it'd be greatly appreciated. Relationships are not my forte.