Friday, February 4, 2011


Today was not the most enjoyable of days. When I get tired I get super emotional/vice versa and I guess all of that hit the fan today so my evening was spent alternating between tears and sleeps.

Sometimes I wish I was bad at school so that I was known as Someone Who's Fun to Hang Out With rather than Someone Who Is Useful.

Knowing what's up is sometimes a pain in the ass.

Anyway, to therapeuticize myself (consider that phrase coined), I listened to the Pavement LP I bought in Portland at top volume and hugged my Mystical Unicorn PillowPet(tm). And then I watched Conan and chatted with Mom and ate a midnight sandwich and now it looks like I am heading to bed.

I have a chemistry test in the morning. Sunday I have to take an NFS test and a math test.

Mom wants me to pray about when I'm supposed to leave on my mission, because she thinks it's supposed to be sooner, but I don't know. I haven't even started my papers yet or anything, so we'll see how that goes.

Ho hum.

Grizzly Bear and goodnight.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Fork in a mug.

So, I'm out of History 3740 and into... Directing II! (Don't ask, long story.) It looks like my project for this semester will be directing Sam Shepard's Fool for Love, which is super gritty and depressing and kind of effed up. Also, the language is kind of crass.

I'm hoping that I can find an actress here who will be willing to say "pussy" because I am morally opposed to censorship.

Also, Alex and I have been working on our scenes for KCACTF and they're going SUPER WELL! I'm so glad they let me have him as a scene partner again! I love working with him because he's super trustworthy and also incredibly talented. (In case you can't tell, I'm definitely on Team Gubler.)

I think we have a pretty good chance of at least making it to secondary rounds. Our first scene is already so freakin' kick-ace, I can't even take it. I'm like near tears every time we run it.

In other news, I think things are okay with Spencer. (I guess Grandma Judy chewed him out on my behalf and that makes me feel nice. Thanks, Judy.) There has been some communication drama over Anything Goes already and, I have to say, I'm kinda glad that I wasn't cast. I have a feeling that the technical/logistical aspect of this show could get ugly real fast, and if that should happen I'd like to know as little about it as possible.

I have my third private acting lesson tomorrow, and also I'm rehearsing with Alex, and then I have a math review and then I think Spencer and I are going to see The King's Speech. Which I am very excited about!

Anyway, that's all for now. Huzzah.

Monday, January 31, 2011


Well, Crystal and I managed to get on our train, and made it back to Eugene around 1:00 AM. Ellen was kind enough to pick us up from the station and let us sleep in her darling little house. She drove us to the airport this morning on her way to school. (As Blanche DuBois says, "I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.")

The flight home was fine, and because nobody was able to pick us up from the airport we caught a shuttle back into town. I got home a little over an hour ago. So far Mom and Dad are the only ones who've been excited to see me, but that's okay. They're my BFFs anyway.

Over the course of this weekend I have managed to write nothing about Spencer. Mostly because I've been having a ton of fun, but also because we've hardly talked. I am having a lot of thoughts about this right now but they're not really for the internet so unless you are (A) a spy or (B) one of my unborn children, that story is For British Eyes Only. (Meaning: for me.)

I've been thinking a lot about starting to write my memoirs. Like, as a sort of potential book thing? I don't know that anybody would want to read anything I have to say but I guess if Chelsea Handler/Russell Brand/George W. Bush can do it, I can too. Right? I know I'm less scary than all three of those people. I mean, I've never been an alcoholic or sexually abused or the president of the United States, but I'm at least somewhat interesting.

Anway, I'm meeting up with Alex after he gets out of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof rehearsal so that we can (finally) block our scenes for KCACTF. It's not like we leave a week from tomorrow or anything. No pressure.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Holy crap, Portland.

Day 2 consisted of a trip into town with Brycen and Andru. We ate lunch at Little Big Burger, and then they took us to Powell's (mothereffing) City of Books. I cried a million tears of joy. I also picked up a copy of T.S. Eliot's The Sacred Wood (which I haven't been able to find anywhere!) and then the latest edition of a short story anthology that is put out every year (also unavailable in St. George).

Then Crystal and I met up with Aaron at Voodoo Doughnuts (where I got a maple blazer blunt) and he gave us a tour of the downtown area. We stopped at Jackpot records and I picked up a Pavement album on vinyl after tirelessly searching for the only Sufjan Stevens album I don't own, Michigan.

(At this point I think it's important to mention the fact that I really feel like I fit in in Portland. It's weird. In St. George, I feel like I'm at someone else's house. Like I got invited to a party by the friend of a friend of a friend, and I showed up only to discover that it's a frat party or something and everybody listens to Kanye West and watches Skins.

Here, I kind of feel like I'm at a friend's house, or in a neighborhood I've lived in forever. I feel like I could approach anyone on the street and start a conversation with them because we would have at least one thing in common, re: music/books/movies/art/beliefs. It's really weird. I don't know how to describe it beyond that.)

Anyway, we managed to get into the Interpol show alright. The band that opened was called School of Seven Bells or something, and they were really good. The lead singer kind of looked Audrey Hepburn and sounded like Natasha Kahn. (We watched some of their music videos later and they are much better live. They need to fire whoever mixed their album.) Interpol was really good. I'd never listed to them before so I spent most of the concert taking it all in/avoiding the blinding glare of strobe lights. Also my feet hurt so I didn't feel like jiving around.

We went back to Brycen's after the show and watched some music videos and then went to bed.

Today Brycen and Andru dropped us off downtown and we went and got some breakfast at this place called Sugar Mama's Cafe (which was totally adorable, and the waitress was the nicest person ever). It was delicious, but shortly thereafter I got sick and puked in the ladies' room at Nordstrom. After that incident, we took the light rail across the river, trying to meet up with Aaron near Hawthorne. We ended up going way too far east, and got off the train to try to catch some wifi and figure out where we were. It was at this point, seated outside the Oregon Clinic (which is not open on Sundays, so don't get injured on the sabbath), we encountered a really intense hobo.

He asked Crystal and I if we were lesbians and seemed really disappointed when we said no. He kept asking Crystal how to connect to an internet network, and then told me that if I ever had a boyfriend I should tell him I was a virgin even if I wasn't. Which was mightily uncomfortable.

We finally ended up finding Aaron, and got some treats at a vegan cafe called Sweet Pea, which was super cute. (Also, vegan food is pretty tasty). Then we wandered around and went shopping. I picked up a couple of mandala coloring books at Powell's Home and Garden, and then we stopped for an early dinner situation at the Oasis Cafe, which has DELICIOUS pizza.

At this time, Bekki and her brother, Jeremiah, met up with us, which I was so so so happy about. I haven't seen Bekki in years and she's always been someone who was able to cheer me up, no matter the situation. I filled her in on everything that's been going on at Dixie (including Mom's situation) and she chatted with Crystal, Aaron, and I until it was time to go.

We went back to Aaron's, where we had dropped our stuff off, and then he walked us to a bus stop that would take us back downtown. It was really sweet of him -- he even waited with us. I have to say I'm gonna miss him.

Right now we're at Union Station waiting for our train (which was apparently detained after hitting a person?). Mom and Dad ended up having to buy my ticket back to Eugene because the douchebags at BioLife stole my plasma. My card, which was supposed to have $40 US dollars on it, was empty. I talked to Amal at card services and he ethnically informed me that there was nothing he could do and I had a mini-meltdown, but it turns out that Varlord and Andrea were able to save the day for like the millionth time in my life. I love them. They are the nicest.

Anyway, we're just sitting here. Crystal's writing in her journal and we're both getting super annoyed at this bass-range-voice Asian chicks who are sitting behind us and talking at an unnecessarily high volume. Curse them.

I'm excited to be home. Scared, because of the whole homework situation, but excited. This has been such a fun trip and I've felt so loved the whole time I've been here. Crystal is an incredible friend and I'm glad she talked me into doing this.

The end.