This reprieve from worldly sorrows gave me the opportunity to think about my life -- which, in my experience, hasn't been particularly rewarding. Nevertheless, I decided to give it another shot, and tried to focus on looking at my decisions, etc, as objectively as possible. I came to the following conclusions:
1. This past year was shitty.
2. I used its shittiness to justify making stupid choices.
3. I made some (very) stupid choices.
4. I totally take my family for granted, and that needs to stop.
5. It's time to turn things around.
My plan for turning things around is to implement as many spiritual boosts and as much positive energy as possible. This includes reading the scriptures (of any and every religion -- as far as I'm concerned, there's no point in ruling out potential help just because it's not exclusively Mormon doctrine), exercise, meditation, and cultivating harmony. To begin initiating the "practical application" phase, I made a new feng shui bagua for my bedroom:
|Oh, yeah. My chi's gonna love this.|
I also invested in some incense to help promote happiness and calm in what I am now pretentiously referring to as my "fortress of solitude." They had a really good deal at Walmart ($4 for a pack of 91 sticks, which included an ash catcher. I burned my first stick of lavender like half an hour ago and I have to say, not only do I feel calm, but also kind of exotic -- like I should be swaddled in white linen and constantly practicing kundalini yoga.) I'm hoping that, with all of this progress-directed intent, I'll be able to erase the psychic damage of the past twelve months and continue to grow and develop as a person.