After a thorough analysis of the past couple of years of my life, I've come to a rather startling conclusion: I was cursed by a social gypsy.
Why, you ask? Just when I develop a really nice rapport with someone, they tend to vanish. This can be illustrated by two comparative lists.
LIST ONE: People I've Bonded With (2007-2010)
LIST TWO: People Who Vanished/Are in the Process of Vanishing (2007-2010)
Sadie (the North Country)
Mrs. Madsen (England)
Becca (the North Country)
Travis (Leaving soonish)
Whitney (Leaving soonish)
Matt (the North Country)
This leaves: Spencer, and Mike. I get the vibe my bearded friend is vanishing in his own way, still physically present but kind of drifting in and out of things.
I know I've been accused of being both clingy and demanding, and I don't deny that either of those things are true. But the thing that is the worst for people with whom I interact -- the thing that's worst for me -- is that those behaviors are symptoms of a bizarre sort of hyper-loyalty, a crazed dedication which (if you ask me) stems from the fact that I believe in the Golden Rule. And because I don't necessarily feel that people are loyal, I try to augment that aspect of things by overdoing it. An example of this is listening. When I feel as though I'm not being listened to, I try much harder to listen to others.
I guess in some way it's like I'm trying to manipulate Karma, like I'm trying to speed up What Goes Around so that it Comes Around more quickly.
I don't know. Right now I'm tired and very confused.