Thursday, October 21, 2010

Well, I want to die.

I have been sick with the world's most heinous cold for the past three days. No taste buds. No air. No voice. No hearing. No sleep. Still trying to recover from surgery, and damnitalltohell, my body is completely miserable. I am sitting in the back office at work literally bawling my eyes out.

And speaking of work, I hate my job. I hate being alone for so many hours in a row, with nobody to talk to and nothing to think about except all of the stupid things in my life that I'm missing or behind on because I never get any sleep. Being here makes me the loneliest. $8.50 an hour is not enough when you consider that I'm getting compensated for what essentially equates to hardcore psychological damage.

I've picked up blogging again as a way to distract myself, but it doesn't really seem to be working. I want to see my friends again. I want to be healthy. I want to get to class on time, I want to get good grades, and most importantly I want to get back to being the Hannah that I am naturally. But that's never going to happen if I don't have the time to recover, you know?

Eff. Effity eff eff.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Trippy Dippy.

First day back at school since surgery... not quite sure I should have gone. I had a really hard time focusing because of the pain meds, and then my bra kept catching on my top right incision which was WAY UNCOMFORTABLE. Too bad my boobs are huge. Otherwise, I would wear a hoodie and call it good.

Tonight at FHE, Spencer did a Halloween makeup demonstration and then we kind of chatted about his trip to Arcata. Apparently Humboldt still uses a patch board, which is a pretty big turn off for someone coming from our super swanky facilities. But he said the town is really nice, very low maintenance.

I think I am catching Alec's cold, which sucks hardcore. I don't want to be full of holes and air and hacking up a lung all at once! I just want things to happen one at a time. :(
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