Sunday, September 16, 2012

You're Invited! (to a pity party)

I haven't felt this weird about life in ages. Which is crazy, because I'm a champion lately -- I'm kicking butt at diet and exercise, I'm super helpful around the house, I'm getting reasonable amounts of sleep for the first time in years.

But.

But, but, but.

I feel like a huge loser.

I have no job. I have no reason to get dressed when I wake up in the morning. I have no tasks that need to be accomplished. I have no mode of transportation. I have no romantic life. I have no social life.

My 23rd birthday is on Tuesday, and it'll be the first one in like ten years where the participants will exclusively include members of my family. Not because I'm cutting people out, but because I don't really have any friends who I know well enough to invite to my house.

I miss Spencer and Guy.

And Bryant (even though I'm bugged that he hasn't texted me).

Mostly, I miss being in school. I knew who I was when I had classes to go to and homework to do. I knew what was expected of me and where I had to be and when.

Oh, heavens above. I don't know why I can't just spend a stretch of time being happy.

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