Untitled Post #24 (in Which Hannah Complains About Bad Friends, and Congratulates Good Ones)

I was raised by some pretty incredible parents. I'm not just saying that because I'm old enough to realize just how many things they were right about. I'm saying it because they taught my siblings and I a number of important -- dare I say, essential -- skills for socialization that seem to have been lost on many of my friends. (This might be due to the fact that these skills are somewhat rooted in philosophical and poetic ideals. Honesty, for example, is much more difficult to master than the art of small talk.) For the most part, I can accept the fact that there are people who have a hard time with being truthful, respectful, empathetic, etc. As the saying goes, "different strokes for different folks." However, the one thing I cannot tolerate an absence of in other people is consideration.

Every aspect of my life is dependent upon considering others, whether I'm worrying about their feelings, their health, or their general existence. I hold both my parents responsible for this. My Dad's favorite question when we were growing up was "Are you being selfish, or selfless?" Naturally, I was conditioned to prioritize selflessness. That doesn't mean I'm perfect at it, but it's important to me. It means that I try my very best to do what's good for other people or what makes them happy, regardless of whether or not it's easy or comfortable for me.

I'm still in the process of discovering that this isn't how everyone else works. For the most part, people prefer to do whatever requires the least effort, and if that's inconsiderate behavior, so be it. I have friends that operate this way, and I hate it. If I were the Queen of the World, there would be laws against social self-preservation. People wouldn't be allowed to bail out of relationships because the dynamics changed or they became inconvenient. If they wanted an out, they would have to talk about it -- to communicate, which is the considerate way to handle any situation, even though it's often more challenging than avoidance. As far as I'm concerned, consideration simply requires people to choose a course of action, while selfishness just encourages people to withdraw.

Fortunately, I have more friends who are considerate than friends who are inconsiderate. I hung out with a few of them tonight, and it was the most fun I'd had in a long time. I'm convinced that this is mostly because I trust them to be considerate people. They're honest -- I don't have to worry about them keeping secrets from me or hiding from me or being douchebags about anything. They're just straight-up thoughtful, and I love that. If it weren't for people like Brandon and Corinne and Trey and Jaden (the people I hung out with tonight, specifically -- there are many more!), I would probably want to punch everyone in the face all the time.

So I guess the moral of the story is, if we're going to be friends, be considerate. The end.