So I've made a decision.

I've been watching tons of reruns of Frasier because (A) I love it and (B) I'm nostalgic, and I've come to a conclusion.

Meet my dream-husband:

Not David Hyde Pierce (because he's gay and I'll never meet him), but Niles Crane. No, I'm not delusional -- I know that he's not real. He's not like my super-geeky Edward Cullen or anything. No, I was watching Frasier and laughing at the highbrow jokes and admiring the adventures of this fictional family, and I had a personal revelation. I want to marry a classy, slightly neurotic man who wears a suit to work and will take me to the opera/ballet/theatre on a regular basis. I want to marry a man who knows the difference between Monet and Manet, who enjoys reading, who has a vast knowledge of both classical literature and mythology. Someone with whom I can converse and banter and be classy.

And because this is the kind of person I want to spend my life with, I've got to do everything in my power to attract these kinds of people. I've made a list of goals for myself which will, I hope, elevate and accentuate my inner Elegant Lady. Some of these goals include:

• Stop swearing
• No more t-shirts (except in the case of pajamas)
• Do my hair and make-up on a daily basis
• Bi-weekly home manicures and pedicures
• Widen my knowledge of classical music and pursue my more academic interests
• Work hard on my grades so I can get into a good graduate program
• Read, read, read!
• Work on my posture (yoga, stretches, muscle building)
• Get into shape!
• Maintain an air of tranquility
• Take time for spiritual things
• Spend a minimum of twenty minutes outdoors daily

Anyway, it seems like a tall order now, but I think it will be ultimately rewarding. I don't necessarily want to be rich -- I want to be culturally aware, and to remain that way throughout my life, and I think this is the direction to head.