So according to my parents...

... I can't be successful AND overweight.

Me: Mom, Dad wants me to wear a bodyshaper for my Irene Ryan rounds.

Mom: Okay.

Me: I said no because that's misrepresentation. That's not what I look like.

Mom: I don't think that's true. I mean, those things don't make you skinny. They just smooth you out.

Me: I lost like a whole pant size when I wore that one for Blithe. And that's not what I look like. And if I get past preliminary rounds, I want it to be because I'm talented, not because I'm ... smooth.

Mom: Honey, don't shoot yourself in the foot. You have a pride issue.

Uh, WHAT?

For the record, I do not have a pride issue, I have an honesty issue. As in, I believe honesty is a good thing. And it would be dishonest of me to WEAR A MOTHEREFFING BODYSHAPER into a SCHOLARSHIP AUDITION.

I would not wear a wig into an audition. I would not load up my face with makeup. I would not wear a FLIPPER like they do in mothereffing BEAUTY PAGEANTS because that's NOT WHAT I LOOK LIKE.

How is a bodyshaper different than those things?

Who cares if I'm overweight? I'm a good actress -- they nominated me the way I am. Why shouldn't I compete that way?

Mothereff.

Shitty shit shit.