Today, I:
1. Woke up kind of late.
2. Learned the benefits of breathing technique in acting.
3. Actually had a moment of genuine emotional connection to a monologue.
4. Was kind of cranky.
5. Had a good, if brief, conversation with Spencer.
6. Was lonely, again.
7. Went on a little drive with Dad.
8. Was honest about my feelings.
9. Took my frustrations out on someone who didn't deserve it.
10. Had another nap.
I'm learning a lot about myself this week -- and it's only Tuesday/early Wednesday. It's amazing, the progress you can make when you finally take the initiative to be honest with yourself.
Things I've finally owned up to include, but are not limited to:
1. I am lonely.
2. I don't feel like I'm very important to anyone. And so sometimes I am inexplicably resentful, which isn't really fair because I don't think anyone knows that I'd like to be looked after.
3. I hate being told that I need to take care of myself.
4. I'm smarter than I give myself credit for.
5. I need to do more to be spiritually in tune.
Today was a weird day for feelings. Starting last night, I started to wonder about the process by which people become appreciative. Like, what kind of stuff makes people grateful? And if you're doing service ALL THE TIME -- small stuff, like reminding people of homework or offering to give someone a ride -- does it become so commonplace that people feel comfortable rather than thankful? Or is that brand of kindness just not a big deal?
I don't know. I guess I feel underappreciated. I'm a good friend. I know I am. But I don't like being the only one who tells me that, you know?
Haha.
I don't know.
Some of this is similar to my average day
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